Saturday, December 27, 2008
New Laptop New Year
I got the laptop up and running, guiding dad through the process and now I have 24/7 internet access I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER. I'm really getting serious about my weight, joing a few guilds on gaia about weightloss, and actively participating in them. I bought knitting and crochet needles, and plan to take it back up again. I feel like this time, I'm doing some shit right. Though my exercise work ethic leaves something to be desired (as does the food selections around the house) I'm blaming them on being out of my normal routine. Dad promises a pass to cardnial fitness, but I'm worried he'll see my grades first, which aren't that hot. Should I give him a heads up? I don't know, I'm thinking of just stealing the envelope. I'm also plan on cooking my own meals from now on, I just need to draw up a grocery list. I think this year is the year, I really do this time.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Also
I kind of want to go to the groceries and buy some supplies for my new diet regim, also the new vouge that came out today. Alas, no money. I also want the Clip and a few other things, I can only hope for money this year, I should of made Kali buy me a year worths of subsricptions instead of that friggin mug. Oh well, at least the mug will have nostagia value, especially since I'm getting her the Jasmine Mug (I'm getting the Belle)
Still I want groceries, healthy snacks, I have a recipe for Honeycomb I want to do for christmas, and a few dinners I want for myself, sucks. But dad is weighing in at a whooping 242 pounds and maybe that'll make him sympathic to my cause. I know my desire to rid the entire house of junk food in a cleansing ceramonie involving mulitple trash bags and surpressed rage will probably never happen, and that my healthy lifestyle won't happen till I Move out but I still want to lose some weight, I should be getting mroe fucking support than this, but whatever. I'm over it, dad sounded skittish about letting me join Cardinels, I have no idea why. But fuck him, I just hope it'll get warmer so I can jog outside for awhile. Bring Kess, she looks starved for action.
When me and Veronica move in together--I have a feeling that she won't puss out, she's reliable in that way--I'll get a dog, I'm up in the air about it, because I have a love hate relationship with them, and we're already going to have two cats (kikyo's is her, and I plan on getting a russian blue or something similar) I want a Great Pyrness, or a New Foundland Shepard, maybe a Chow Chow or an Irish Wolfhound, something huge, but loveable (like me). But now I'm thinking along the lines of a great dane or a Dalmation, those things can run for days, (I do want to jog) and virtually hairless (making cleaning a non burden) If I get them in their puppy-hood and train them right I'm sure they'll be fine. Awesome even. I'll walk them two or three times a day, it'll be good to have that sort of responisbility. We're also planning on a garden, fresh healthy produce that I can cook, and then store for the winter. I'm planning on squash, peppers, strawberries, peas, and beans, maybe tomatos, celery and lettuce, carrots! For plants I want roses, all around the fence line, roses. I know ver has plans for other plants, but i also want a sunflower plant, god I love sunflowers. We're also planning on Herbs, lots of them, We won't even have to go to the produce section of the store, except for citrus frutis of coures, and ginger, which doesn't do well in this soil aparently. We also will have house plants, which will house our plants in winter, waiting for spring, as well as some house plants, like my vine, and maybe paper whites and zinnas. She wants a place for her bio-stuff, and a desktop of Horrors, full of carnivous plants, we'll have books shelves as room dividers, and paint the walls, I have no idea where the money is coming from, but it's so nice to dream. And i'll take the dog and jog every morning, go to class, go to work, then work in the garden all evening and during the weekends, intersperse with time at the gym and cook rich balanced meals for everyone. She'll go to class, study, work, and eat what I cook here, we'll live at half-price books and read and watch T.V. series and argue over food. We'll have so much fun, it'll be ridiculous. I can't wait for the day I'm out of this hell hole
Still I want groceries, healthy snacks, I have a recipe for Honeycomb I want to do for christmas, and a few dinners I want for myself, sucks. But dad is weighing in at a whooping 242 pounds and maybe that'll make him sympathic to my cause. I know my desire to rid the entire house of junk food in a cleansing ceramonie involving mulitple trash bags and surpressed rage will probably never happen, and that my healthy lifestyle won't happen till I Move out but I still want to lose some weight, I should be getting mroe fucking support than this, but whatever. I'm over it, dad sounded skittish about letting me join Cardinels, I have no idea why. But fuck him, I just hope it'll get warmer so I can jog outside for awhile. Bring Kess, she looks starved for action.
When me and Veronica move in together--I have a feeling that she won't puss out, she's reliable in that way--I'll get a dog, I'm up in the air about it, because I have a love hate relationship with them, and we're already going to have two cats (kikyo's is her, and I plan on getting a russian blue or something similar) I want a Great Pyrness, or a New Foundland Shepard, maybe a Chow Chow or an Irish Wolfhound, something huge, but loveable (like me). But now I'm thinking along the lines of a great dane or a Dalmation, those things can run for days, (I do want to jog) and virtually hairless (making cleaning a non burden) If I get them in their puppy-hood and train them right I'm sure they'll be fine. Awesome even. I'll walk them two or three times a day, it'll be good to have that sort of responisbility. We're also planning on a garden, fresh healthy produce that I can cook, and then store for the winter. I'm planning on squash, peppers, strawberries, peas, and beans, maybe tomatos, celery and lettuce, carrots! For plants I want roses, all around the fence line, roses. I know ver has plans for other plants, but i also want a sunflower plant, god I love sunflowers. We're also planning on Herbs, lots of them, We won't even have to go to the produce section of the store, except for citrus frutis of coures, and ginger, which doesn't do well in this soil aparently. We also will have house plants, which will house our plants in winter, waiting for spring, as well as some house plants, like my vine, and maybe paper whites and zinnas. She wants a place for her bio-stuff, and a desktop of Horrors, full of carnivous plants, we'll have books shelves as room dividers, and paint the walls, I have no idea where the money is coming from, but it's so nice to dream. And i'll take the dog and jog every morning, go to class, go to work, then work in the garden all evening and during the weekends, intersperse with time at the gym and cook rich balanced meals for everyone. She'll go to class, study, work, and eat what I cook here, we'll live at half-price books and read and watch T.V. series and argue over food. We'll have so much fun, it'll be ridiculous. I can't wait for the day I'm out of this hell hole
TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA!
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
Awesome! Put rock concerts to shame really. Sure it got a little Christian Rock at times, but whatever yeah. A lot of songs were mopey and sad and making you think about shit, but when they decided to rock they fucking ROCKED man. The violinist (a girl adn a guy) were running around the stage hopping, head-banging, getting into string fights with the three guitarists. The guitarist came down on a floating fucking platform which was cool. THe Lasers and pryokenitics were awesoem and athe nose bleeds we got (were were second row from the very top) got all smokey, which was cool. The keyboards spun, the guys all sang in this really deep voice. The girls hit high C's it was awesome. They ran around the audience with the road crew following them like pressed upon hand maidens, a voilinist and guitarist got on another floating platform that spew sparks, they had a fog machine. Violinist head banged while playing. The 4 girl singers were dancing in unison, complete with hair flips. For three hours. I can't get that kind of energy up for free laptops. Still it's great, I'm adding them to my stalk list.
Awesome! Put rock concerts to shame really. Sure it got a little Christian Rock at times, but whatever yeah. A lot of songs were mopey and sad and making you think about shit, but when they decided to rock they fucking ROCKED man. The violinist (a girl adn a guy) were running around the stage hopping, head-banging, getting into string fights with the three guitarists. The guitarist came down on a floating fucking platform which was cool. THe Lasers and pryokenitics were awesoem and athe nose bleeds we got (were were second row from the very top) got all smokey, which was cool. The keyboards spun, the guys all sang in this really deep voice. The girls hit high C's it was awesome. They ran around the audience with the road crew following them like pressed upon hand maidens, a voilinist and guitarist got on another floating platform that spew sparks, they had a fog machine. Violinist head banged while playing. The 4 girl singers were dancing in unison, complete with hair flips. For three hours. I can't get that kind of energy up for free laptops. Still it's great, I'm adding them to my stalk list.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Well Shit
I've failed two classes, English and Math, but whatever, I've passed all the classes that matter. I'll just make them up in the summer, since I'm not going for the acedemic honor diploma, I don't need chemistry, so whatever ya? It'll be fun. I've exercise for a half hour today, I've decided that I would give the 4:30am wake-up work out call a shot. If that bitch on Biggest Losers can... Also, googled Bally, it's filing bankruptcy, but Cardinal Fitness has great couple rates, so I might just piggy back on to dad's membership. I also intend to get my drivers permit this week, and hopefully get a second job by the end of january, that'll let me work 6-10 so I can continue babysitting. I don't know if they'll let me without a work permit, but I can fake one just fine. Being busy could do nothing but good for me, it's the free time that's crippling me. This christmas, I'm hopign for enough money for a Sansa Clip, which looks ACE man. Oh! I'm keeping a food diary as well, so it would be harder for me to impulse eat. Chibi is coming over for New Years, and I don't know what to give her yet, I'm out of funds, the books I sold to half price only came up to 21 bucks, such a rip off, there was 80$ worth of books in there. Kali gave 47 books and only got 20 dollars though, so whatev. New Semester, New Day, I only can imagine how dad will react once he sees my grades, but what can he do? It's all in the pass now
I've been listening to a lot of 90's grunge rock, I'm such a fucking cliche, but I love myself <3 and fuck all the rest yeah?
We're going to Ohio for Christmas, and I can tell dad is hoping for a huge snow storm so he can stay home, he hates the memories. I hate people and don't want to go, but Mamaw wants me there and I'll be there goddammit. Then we're going to Kentucky for Christmas Day Dinner, which I can tell dad is looking forward too, but I'm dreading .Sure, Pawpaw is endeared to me like no other, but I Really Don't Want To Go. I will anyway, and try to be charming, bring a book, that jazz.
Biggest Loser New Season starts on Tuesday, January 6th. I don't know how long it runs, let me check. Okay no information, but if there's weigh ins every week, and there's usually 16 contestants, and 3 finalist, plus final episodes, it should be about 14 weeks, or 3 months, that seems adaquate enough to lose about 15 pounds no? My goal then: 15 punds in 14 weeks. I'm also signing up for the website, for encouragement. Lord knows I'm not getting it here. Maybe dad will change his tune once I drag him to the gym enough. He has a new girlfriend, maybe he'll indulge me if he wants to look good for her. I've been rambling
Love to ya,
Kelsey
I've been listening to a lot of 90's grunge rock, I'm such a fucking cliche, but I love myself <3 and fuck all the rest yeah?
We're going to Ohio for Christmas, and I can tell dad is hoping for a huge snow storm so he can stay home, he hates the memories. I hate people and don't want to go, but Mamaw wants me there and I'll be there goddammit. Then we're going to Kentucky for Christmas Day Dinner, which I can tell dad is looking forward too, but I'm dreading .Sure, Pawpaw is endeared to me like no other, but I Really Don't Want To Go. I will anyway, and try to be charming, bring a book, that jazz.
Biggest Loser New Season starts on Tuesday, January 6th. I don't know how long it runs, let me check. Okay no information, but if there's weigh ins every week, and there's usually 16 contestants, and 3 finalist, plus final episodes, it should be about 14 weeks, or 3 months, that seems adaquate enough to lose about 15 pounds no? My goal then: 15 punds in 14 weeks. I'm also signing up for the website, for encouragement. Lord knows I'm not getting it here. Maybe dad will change his tune once I drag him to the gym enough. He has a new girlfriend, maybe he'll indulge me if he wants to look good for her. I've been rambling
Love to ya,
Kelsey
Friday, December 19, 2008
People over my shoulder
is why I haven't been posting at all. Finals went well, and now I"m on break and LOVING IT I 'm so tired, but the end is in sight. I haven't exercised in 2 or 3 days, so that's what I'm assuming is account my sour moods. I haven't gotten my period yet, though I'm on day 3 of placebos. But whatever. who needs it? Kali has a friend over, so I can't do a tape, but I'm thinking about going to half price and getting the book 'six minute workout' which I could do before school, that'll be cool. Other plans for defeating depression in '09.
1)Keep eating breakfast, which is doing wonders for my energy
2)Try to go vegetarian, or eat only one meat per day. I'm buying cookbooks too.
3)buy an iPod like thing and download a bunch of upbeat happy songs (All the Small Things-Blink 182, Melt with you-Modren English, Take on Me-Aha, If you wanna be my lover-Spice Girls) and play these songs during passing period.
4)Exercise EVERYDAY, and try out jogging.
5)Clean room, because clean room is calming
6)keep a food diet journal so I don't over-eat
7)KEEP ON TOP OF HOMEWORK
I guess these count as my New Year Resolutions
1)Keep eating breakfast, which is doing wonders for my energy
2)Try to go vegetarian, or eat only one meat per day. I'm buying cookbooks too.
3)buy an iPod like thing and download a bunch of upbeat happy songs (All the Small Things-Blink 182, Melt with you-Modren English, Take on Me-Aha, If you wanna be my lover-Spice Girls) and play these songs during passing period.
4)Exercise EVERYDAY, and try out jogging.
5)Clean room, because clean room is calming
6)keep a food diet journal so I don't over-eat
7)KEEP ON TOP OF HOMEWORK
I guess these count as my New Year Resolutions
Monday, December 15, 2008
Snap Crackle Pop
I went off on Chris today, it felt good, I hate his ass sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much it's inexcusable. I hope he dies in a fire. I finished roughly half my math assignments, and plan on finishing the rest tonight. I got a good nap in this afternoon too. Also, I cooked breakfast, via advice from 'Food and Mood' it worked wonders, I mean, I wasn't fighting tears the entire day. I finished all I needed in US History, GO ME! I've given up on English as I always do XD. But all the really good authors have failed english right? Enviromental Science final tomorrow, and i can't wait to take it, I'm so confident right now. I'm going to make cookies tonight, and exerscie while they bake. I'm listening to Sunny Farms Real Estate, that Travis got me, and i'm enjoying it. So all is up on the upswing again, I hate how erratic my moods are getting, but it's hard to be angry with them when they give me such highs. Like nothing can go wrong, or, if it did, I can handle \it and come up on top. EW@ at SFRE, bad set list, two songs to close alike are next together, they should switch that. OH! I'm after 'The Minsitry of Magic' CD. And hope that my chirstmas money while cover it, that and an MP3. Apparently good music gives an instant endorphine boost, so I think if I play a really catchy tune during passing periods, I could offset the horribleness that is school. A little. So. On the Optimistic Side
Kelsey
Kelsey
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Flatlined
This is good, no downward spirals, no upward ones, this is a little more control than I'm used to, since I spent all of Friday holding back tears for no apparent reason. Also, I plan ot exercise today, and somehow obtain a food diary, and bake cookies, and other numerous things. This may or may not be because of some retail therapy on my part. Books , the exlier
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
WOOT
I JUST FINISHED MY TERM PAPER! *WOOT WOOT*
I'm so happy, and i'm on a roll, I'm going to do it all tonight baby. OH and we made fun of bodahn all class period because she left the non journlaling kids in the classroom, while the others got to discuss, we bashed tibbs too. God I love underachievers, the nicest, realest people you'd ever hope to meet. Mrs. Bodahn said 'You're lucky I'm giving you this oppurtunity to get smarter' and we ran on that all class period. God it was fun. I'm feeling in an oddly opitmisitc mood, and in the mood to belly dance. OFF I GO!
I'm so happy, and i'm on a roll, I'm going to do it all tonight baby. OH and we made fun of bodahn all class period because she left the non journlaling kids in the classroom, while the others got to discuss, we bashed tibbs too. God I love underachievers, the nicest, realest people you'd ever hope to meet. Mrs. Bodahn said 'You're lucky I'm giving you this oppurtunity to get smarter' and we ran on that all class period. God it was fun. I'm feeling in an oddly opitmisitc mood, and in the mood to belly dance. OFF I GO!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Okay, Focus
After the orchestra concert, I didn't do any homework, but I did exercise for about a half hour slash fourty five minutes, and I'm feeling up and motavated again, riding that endorphine rush I guess. I don't have much time here, and can't write anything, but I'm hand-writing my English essay, and typeing it up in web page design, maybe incorparting a lunch period if I don't finished, but I think I can do this. I'll finished all the late back assignments from US and write out the rest of the essay, hopefully grabbing the computer tomorrow, and finish it. HERE'S HOPING. I have my presentation tomorrow in Enviro, maybe if I go first he'll write me a pass to the library, and I can type up the essay there as well. All bases yeah? ANYWAY I plan to do that all tonight and another exercise video, because it takes me hours to fall asleep anyway, may as well start doing things productive.
Enough of school. I'm going to kill bobby and bree, all they do is yell, and fight, and scream, they are so damn loud, fall onto everything, I sometimes wnat to beat them, and they never stay upstairs. I'm assuming it's cabin fever, not going out as much as they used too but they're so damn squirrelly I'm about to choke a bitch. How am I suppose to do homework?
I made Brinda throw up today. I was thristy and told her so, and she drank her water all teasingly in front of me, and I flipped her off, made her laugh, and she sucked up water like a bitch. She choke, threw up the water, than threw up two more times and just started coughing. I yelled 'KARMA BITCH' and died laughing, because that's what friends are for. As for the other aspects of my life, I plan on cookie baking this weekend! WOOOOOOOOOO. I ha ve these great containers for them as well. OH and orchestra concert went fine, tanked Christmas song, but no one noticed, unlike lawrence's unpredicted voice cracked (poor boy). Also, I plan on doing some major sleeping this weekend as well. God I deserve it. There's a few other things I need to do, but I can't remember what. It'll come back.
LATER PIMPS
Enough of school. I'm going to kill bobby and bree, all they do is yell, and fight, and scream, they are so damn loud, fall onto everything, I sometimes wnat to beat them, and they never stay upstairs. I'm assuming it's cabin fever, not going out as much as they used too but they're so damn squirrelly I'm about to choke a bitch. How am I suppose to do homework?
I made Brinda throw up today. I was thristy and told her so, and she drank her water all teasingly in front of me, and I flipped her off, made her laugh, and she sucked up water like a bitch. She choke, threw up the water, than threw up two more times and just started coughing. I yelled 'KARMA BITCH' and died laughing, because that's what friends are for. As for the other aspects of my life, I plan on cookie baking this weekend! WOOOOOOOOOO. I ha ve these great containers for them as well. OH and orchestra concert went fine, tanked Christmas song, but no one noticed, unlike lawrence's unpredicted voice cracked (poor boy). Also, I plan on doing some major sleeping this weekend as well. God I deserve it. There's a few other things I need to do, but I can't remember what. It'll come back.
LATER PIMPS
Monday, December 8, 2008
Well.
I'm still shitty, and I have an orchestra concert tonight, I thought I'd have time for homework, but i forgot about the concert. I'm exhausted with that tight around the eye feel that comes with it. So far I have:
11 out assignments in US and a 3 week late term paper....make that 4 weeks
a paper and 6 journals for English.
7 assignments for math.
All of which is due Thursday tops. It all sucks, and I'm overwhelmed and tired and need help and just want to sleep. This is a concept foreign to my father, who when faced with challenges, face them with a steadfastness, determinedness unknown in most people. If he's in debt or laid off, he'll search tiredlessly for a job to pay if off, if his homelife is too busy, he'll find a way to make it work. Here he would just make the equation Too Much Work+Small amount of time to do it in=Stay up all night, and work as hard as you need to to finish it in time. Not that he would ever be in this situation to begin with, with his superior work ethic.
God I'm so tired, I hope I can just go to the concert, leave as soon as we finished playing and sleep. Maybe outline/draft my papers, and finish my homework earlier in the morning. I don't know, and I don't care. I don't think I care about anything anymore, and I'm beginning to realize how hopeless the situation is.
11 out assignments in US and a 3 week late term paper....make that 4 weeks
a paper and 6 journals for English.
7 assignments for math.
All of which is due Thursday tops. It all sucks, and I'm overwhelmed and tired and need help and just want to sleep. This is a concept foreign to my father, who when faced with challenges, face them with a steadfastness, determinedness unknown in most people. If he's in debt or laid off, he'll search tiredlessly for a job to pay if off, if his homelife is too busy, he'll find a way to make it work. Here he would just make the equation Too Much Work+Small amount of time to do it in=Stay up all night, and work as hard as you need to to finish it in time. Not that he would ever be in this situation to begin with, with his superior work ethic.
God I'm so tired, I hope I can just go to the concert, leave as soon as we finished playing and sleep. Maybe outline/draft my papers, and finish my homework earlier in the morning. I don't know, and I don't care. I don't think I care about anything anymore, and I'm beginning to realize how hopeless the situation is.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
shit
I'm spiraling, I don't want to be spiraling but I'm spiraling. All I feel is rage and the urge to cry right now, I'm having trouble breathing, and I can't do this I can't I got school work to do. I need to snap out of it, but I can't, I can't do anything I never could. I just want to take a bat to something that'll shatter, I just want to go to sleep, I just want to remember something I could do to fix this. Everything seemed to have bailed on me. I don't know what started this or when. I want to exerscie it out, somethimes that helps, but Hank and his friend are downstairs, and I can't breath anymore. I'm trying to cry, and it's not working. I want to kill something a little. I want to rip at something. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. and I think it's all gone to hell now. I Think it's finally caught up with me.
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